Yo mama is so hairy, her razor blade needs a chainsaw.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for pictures on a postage stamp.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her for a penny, she gave me a button and said 'Here's your two cents.'

Yo mama is so short, when she takes a selfie, she only captures her forehead.

Yo mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up on a mirror.

Yo mama is so short, she can't even reach the top of her to-do list.

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she juggles, people think it's an earthquake.

Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks cereal is a complete meal.

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she tried to high five, she slapped herself.

Yo mama is so greasy, every time she goes to the beach, all the whales start singing 'We Are Family.'

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the barber, they offer her a group discount.

Yo mama is so dirty, even the Tide won't take her out.

Yo mama is so loud, when she sleeps, she snores on both sides of the phone.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't climb trees, she rents a ladder.

Yo mama is so old, when I asked her what she wants to be when she grows up, she said 'Young'.

Yo mama is so slow, it took her a whole day to watch 24 hours.

Yo mama is so dirty, when she walks by, Octomom asks for cleaning tips.

Yo mama is so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat, people yelled 'Taxi!'

Yo mama is so slow, it took her a month to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama is so dirty, the roaches called an exterminator on her.

Yo mama is so fat, she put on some Bouncing Boots and went to Saturn.