Yo mama is so cheap, she sends you a friendship request on Venmo.

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she went to a concert, she got kicked out for moshing alone.

Yo mama is so slow, she brought a knife to a speed dating event.

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPad.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she wakes up, she says, 'Goodnight'.

Yo mama so lazy, when she gets up, even the coffee says 'too lazy for this.'

Yo mama so dirty, she makes skunks run the other way.

Yo mama so lazy, she took 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama so lazy, when she's in a room, she's a sculpture.

Yo mama so greasy, her hands slip off the steering wheel while driving.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she orders everything on the menu twice.

Yo mama so hairy, she has dreadlocks on her eyelashes.

Yo mama so lazy, she wears a sock on each ear so she can lie down without getting cold.

Yo mama so lazy, she got an award for being the best nap-taker.

Yo mama so tall, she needs a step ladder to tie her shoes.

Yo mama so dirty, she has to creep up on bathwater to take a shower.

Yo mama so short, she parachutes off her bed.

Yo mama so lazy, she doesn't do jumping jacks, she does sitting Jacks.

Yo mama so clumsy, when she goes to the airport, they make her check herself.

Yo mama so slow, when she played the race car game, they towed her for going in reverse.

Yo mama so ugly, when she goes to the beauty salon, they close for the day.