Yo mama's so old, she skated on an extinct glacier.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the TV, people miss the entire show.

Yo mama's so dumb, she tried to drown a fish.

Yo mama's so hairy, when she goes to the barber, they charge her double.

Yo mama's so lazy, when she hears the microwave beep, she yells 'Dinner's ready!'

Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to a haunted house, she came out with a job application.

Yo mama's so hairy, she gots afros on her nipples.

Yo mama's so old, when she was in school, gym class was 'Survival of the Fittest'.

Yo mama's so lazy, she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

Yo mama's so fat, she tripped on 4th Avenue and landed on 12th.

Yo mama's so hairy, when she goes to the zoo, they put her in the gorilla exhibit.

Yo mama's so old, when she was in school, they didn't have history books yet.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she goes to the beach, cats try to bury her in the sand.

Yo mama's so dumb, she tried to put her M&Ms in alphabetical order.

Yo mama's so poor, she goes to KFC just to lick other people's fingers.

Yo mama's so ugly, she needs a Halloween mask all year round.

Yo mama's so dumb, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

Yo mama's so hairy, she looks like she's smuggling Chewbacca.

Yo mama's so ugly, she made One Direction go another direction.

Yo mama's so old, she sat next to Moses in third grade.

Yo mama's so poor, she hangs toilet paper out to dry.