Yo mama so slow, when she was walking in front of the TV, I missed a whole season of my show.

Yo mama so greasy, her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama so dirty, even the dirt says she needs a shower.

Yo mama so slow, it took her 2 days to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama so lazy, she doesn't clean the house, she moves.

Yo mama so lazy, she doesn't wear shoes, she paints her toes.

Yo mama so dirty, she has to wipe her feet before coming inside the house.

Yo mama so short, she poses for selfies with Smurfs.

Yo mama so clumsy, she broke a leg doing the hokey pokey.

Yo mama so slow, she took a slow cooker to a speed dating event.

Yo mama so dirty, she can't even clean her own plate.

Yo mama so short, she breakdances under the kitchen table.

Yo mama so clumsy, she gets tangled in her own shoelaces.

Yo mama so slow, she took a turtle to a race and won.

Yo mama so old, her birthstone is uranium.

Yo mama so lazy, she's got a run in her stocking because she didn't take it off the first time.

Yo mama so short, she makes a hot dog look like a footlong.

Yo mama so greasy, her cooking apron doubles as a slip n slide.

Yo mama so tall, she plays hopscotch like a giant.

Yo mama so hairy, when she goes to the carnival, people use her as a dunk tank.

Yo mama so broke, her face is on the front of a food stamp.