Yo mama is so poor, she puts ketchup on her ketchup packets.

Yo mama is so slow, she high-fived a sloth and missed.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she wears a tube top, people mistake her for Cousin It.

Yo mama is so dumb, she asked the waiter at McDonald's for directions to Burger King.

Yo mama is so slow, she needs a calendar to schedule her thoughts.

Yo mama is so tall, she uses lightning as a reading lamp.

Yo mama is so mean, when she walks into a room, the Devil takes notes.

Yo mama is so old, she owes Peter Pan a nickel.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she visits the zoo, the gorillas take notes.

Yo mama is so fat, her Sorting Hat assigned her to the House of Pancakes.

Yo mama is so bald, she uses wax to shine her scalp.

Yo mama is so dirty, she mops the ocean.

Yo mama is so tall, she did a backflip in space and hit the moon.

Yo mama is so cheap, when I asked her for a quarter, she gave me two nickels.

Yo mama is so loud, she makes thunder cover its ears.

Yo mama is so short, she served miniatures at her Fourth of July barbecue.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she said she was going to a walk-in closet, she took an Uber.

Yo mama is so small, she can hang glide on a Dorito.

Yo mama is so old, when I asked her how old she was, she said she remembers when the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she got fired from her job as a mime because she couldn't keep quiet.

Yo mama is so ghetto, when she breastfeeds, Kool-Aid comes out.