Yo mama is so slow, she took a walk in a NASCAR race and still got left behind.

Yo mama is so backwards, she puts lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama is so loud, when she sleeps, she snores in surround sound.

Yo mama is so diet-conscious, when she steps on a scale, it says 'one at a time, please.'

Yo mama is so mean, she has a picture of you under her dictionary entry for 'jerk.'

Yo mama is so cold, she freezes coffee.

Yo mama is so poor, when she hears the word 'lottery,' she starts cutting onion rings.

Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hide themselves.

Yo mama is so greasy, she sweats pancake batter.

Yo mama is so slow, she bought a video on how to speed read.

Yo mama is so greasy, she was baptized at KFC.

Yo mama is so greasy, she uses bacon as a bookmark.

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Cheerios were doughnut seeds.

Yo mama is so greasy, her face is like an oil spill.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the safari, the animals mistook her for a lost relative.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the barbershop, she gets a group discount.

Yo mama is so hairy, she braids her nostril hair.

Yo mama is so old, her birthstone is the Flintstone.

Yo mama is so cheap, she takes her trash to other people's garbages.

Yo mama is so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

Yo mama is so dumb, she believed Starbucks was a bank for Star Wars.