Yo mama is so loud, when she yawns, the people in China think it's morning.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to a strip club, they pay her to keep her clothes on.

Yo mama is so big, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell 'Taxi!'

Yo mama is so bald, even a wig wouldn't stay on her head.

Yo mama is so bad at cooking, the flies got together and fixed the screen door.

Yo mama is so mean, when she walks past the TV, the channel changes.

Yo mama is so forgetful, she put a two-way mirror in her twins' nursery.

Yo mama is so uncoordinated, she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't bring home the bacon, she brings home the whole pig.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the barber, they say 'We don't do pets here'.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for a panoramic photo.

Yo mama is so bad at cooking, she tried to make toast in the microwave.

Yo mama is so cheap, she freezes ketchup to make tomato ice cubes.

Yo mama is so dumb, she stares at an orange juice carton because it says 'concentrate'.

Yo mama is so slow, she went to the movies and saw 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' in real time.

Yo mama is so cheap, when she found a penny, she thought she hit the jackpot.

Yo mama is so short, she had to get a ladder to scratch her ankle.

Yo mama is so bad at cooking, the flies pitched in to fix the screen door.

Yo mama is so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama is so bad at cooking, when she made a donation, the Salvation Army gave it back.

Yo mama is so lazy, she won the marathon sitting down.