Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, there was no recess, just job training.

Yo mama is so short, she does front flips on a Cheerio.

Yo mama is so lazy, she got an award for participating in a sleep competition.

Yo mama is so short, she limbos under the toaster.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she tripped over a moving sidewalk.

Yo mama is so short, she pole vaults over a paperclip.

Yo mama is so old, her birthstone is the Rosetta Stone.

Yo mama is so old, her birthday is 'BC'.

Yo mama is so short, she models for Monopoly game pieces.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't play fetch with her dog, she plays 'fetch the remote'.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she got tangled in a wireless phone cord.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her when her birthday is, she said 'Every time I get a bill'.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she tripped over a cordless landline phone.

Yo mama is so short, she does cartwheels in a hamster wheel.

Yo mama is so ugly, she turned the Boogeyman into a scaredy-cat.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her to lend me a dollar, she tried to sell me a dream.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in college, they studied her in history class.

Yo mama is so short, she pulls up a chair to eat at the kids' table.

Yo mama is so lazy, she puts on her seatbelt to watch TV.

Yo mama is so dumb, she tried to unlock a password with a key.

Yo mama is so ugly, she makes onions beg for mercy.