Yo mama is so lazy, she sends emails to herself with reminders to check the mailbox.

Yo mama is so poor, she hangs out at the grocery store to watch people buy food.

Yo mama is so rude, her shadow unfriended her on Facebook.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for garden gnomes.

Yo mama is so slow, when she tried to catch the sunrise, it set.

Yo mama is so hairy, Bigfoot tried to take her out on a date.

Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks exercise is a brand of cars.

Yo mama is so ugly, even zombies take a double-take.

Yo mama is so short, she hooks up with Hot Wheels.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she gets a haircut, they call it deforestation.

Yo mama is so stupid, she went to the Apple store to get an apple pie.

Yo mama is so short, she's like a limbo dancer without the stick.

Yo mama is so slow, it took her an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama so lazy, she doesn't even return phone calls from her own shadow.

Yo mama so stupid, she went to a WNBA game and yelled 'Score a touchdown!'

Yo mama so slow, she missed the deadline of a calendar.

Yo mama so lazy, she thinks getting up from the couch is a workout.

Yo mama so ugly, even vampires don't want to bite her.

Yo mama so poor, she hangs up stickers for wallpaper.

Yo mama so clumsy, she drops her phone when it's on airplane mode.

Yo mama so slow, she tried to catch the 'fastest internet in the West'.