Yo mama is so ugly, she broke the mirror when she tried to take a selfie.

Yo mama is so old, she remembers when Abraham Lincoln was in diapers.

Yo mama is so fat, she jumped up and got stuck.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't even put the 'hot' sign on when she's in the kitchen.

Yo mama is so poor, she opens a Gmail account just to eat the spam.

Yo mama is so lazy, she has a glass of water with a spoon in it so the fish can swim.

Yo mama is so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she couldn't hit the ground if she fell.

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.

Yo mama is so stinky, skunks hold their noses when she walks by.

Yo mama is so loud, she has to tape her mouth shut to mime at charades.

Yo mama is so bad at cooking, the flies chipped in to order pizza.

Yo mama is so ugly, the tide won't even take her out.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for selfies using a microscope.

Yo mama is so dumb, when I asked her to bring me a TV dinner, she came back with a remote.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she got arrested, they had to shave her fingerprints.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she took her shirt off, Bigfoot said, 'Damn, that's my cousin!'

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought a thesaurus was a prehistoric animal.

Yo mama is so tall, when she plays hopscotch, she jumps continents.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for Christmas cards in an ornament.

Yo mama is so lazy, she has a subscription to the Lazy Boy recliner.