Yo mama is so slow, she missed the bus and thought it was a runner.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went to take a selfie, the camera cracked.

Yo mama is so hairy, people mistake her for Chewbacca.

Yo mama is so slow, she can dodge raindrops.

Yo mama is so lazy, she stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and it finally dawned on her.

Yo mama is so slow, she went to the store to buy a fast food meal.

Yo mama is so lazy, she put her TV on the microwave so she could watch 'Dinner right away'.

Yo mama is so slow, she can play hide and seek with herself.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't use elevators, she climbs escalators.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the zoo, they told her she couldn't pet the exhibits.

Yo mama is so slow, when she enters a race, it becomes a marathon.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't use a fork, she eats with a shovel.

Yo mama is so lazy, she got fired from the calendar factory for taking too many days off.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her where the front door is, she said 'Follow the roaches.'

Yo mama is so short, she does backflips on a Lego.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she got tangled in her own shoelaces.

Yo mama is so short, she needs a step ladder to take a nap.

Yo mama is so ugly, she tried to enter an ugly contest but they said 'Sorry, no professionals.'

Yo mama is so old, when she went to the museum, they asked her to autograph the dinosaur bones.

Yo mama is so fat, she wears a VCR as a beeper.

Yo mama is so stingy, she'll only give you one piece of gum – no matter how many friends you bring.