Yo mama is so old, when she walked into a museum, the alarms went off.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she takes a selfie, she breaks the camera.

Yo mama is so lazy, she sends texts to her roommates to pass the remote.

Yo mama is so short, she can do front flips off the curb.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes in for a haircut, they tell her to come back in a few years.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she falls up escalators.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she gets a pedicure, they charge her for a pet grooming.

Yo mama is so short, her feet don't touch the floor when she sits on a toilet.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she shaves, the razor gets lost in the forest.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at Medusa, Medusa turned to stone.

Yo mama is so old, when I asked for her ID, she showed me a rock.

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a sum of money.

Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a tripod is for nap time.

Yo mama is so cheap, she buys single ply toilet paper and reuses it.

Yo mama is so stupid, she brought a spoon to the knife fight.

Yo mama is so slow, she played hide and seek and they found her the next day.

Yo mama is so dumb, she asked me what the number for 911 was.

Yo mama is so cheap, she makes the Grinch look generous.

Yo mama is so stupid, she brought a glass of water to a 'liquid only' party.

Yo mama is so fat, when she walks past the TV, you miss a season of your favorite show.

Yo mama is so dirty, she makes a landfill look tidy.