Yo mama is so slow, she went to a marathon and came in last in the punchline contest.

Yo mama is so dumb, she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she takes a nap, she counts it as a workout.

Yo mama is so dirty, when she goes to a bar, they check her for vermin.

Yo mama is so boring, when she talks to her plants, they refuse to grow.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she goes to bed, she tells bedtime stories to herself.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, history was the present.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the beach, mermaids ask for styling tips.

Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a purple shirt, kids yell 'Barney!'

Yo mama is so old, she walked alongside Noah's ark.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she got a haircut, they found a missing person.

Yo mama is so lazy, she volunteers at the DMV to avoid doing anything.

Yo mama is so short, she parachutes from Legoland.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she trips over imaginary cracks in the sidewalk.

Yo mama is so poor, when she goes to McDonald's, she has to put ketchup on a hot dog bun.

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore a white dress, the Milky Way turned into the Heavy Way.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went to clown school, they hired her without makeup.

Yo mama is so dirty, when she took a mud bath, the mud said, 'I give up.'

Yo mama is so hairy, when she gets a haircut, the stylists wear hazmat suits.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she wants to watch TV, she turns on the microwave.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for paperweights.