Yo mama's so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked what she was doing, she said 'Moving.'

Yo mama's so slow, it takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama's so hairy, when she went to the salon, they refused to wax her legs because they thought she was wearing fur pants.

Yo mama's so clumsy, she tripped over a wireless cord.

Yo mama's so lazy, she doesn't sweat, she sparkles.

Yo mama's like a library, open to the public and easily accessible.

Yo mama's so hairy, when she went to the zoo, the monkeys thought she was family.

Yo mama's so strong, she can slam a revolving door.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama's so poor, burglars break in her house and leave money.

Yo mama's so skinny, she uses ChapStick as a deodorant.

Yo mama's so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama's so slow, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress, the kids yell 'Kool-Aid!'

Yo mama's so lazy, she brings a spoon to the supper.

Yo mama's so old, she knew Mr. Clean when he had just a small necktie.

Yo mama's so hideous, when she walks into a haunted house, she comes out with a job application.

Yo mama's so greasy, her bathtub is always slippery.

Yo mama's so broke, she went to KFC to lick other people's fingers.

Yo mama's so tough, she irons her own clothes.

Yo mama's so fat, she doesn't need the internet, she's already worldwide.