Yo mama is so old, when I asked her what's new, she said 'me'.

Yo mama is so short, when she dances, she makes a limbo pole look tall.

Yo mama is so ugly, she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.

Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a two-minute plank is a high-intensity workout.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, math was called counting.

Yo mama is so lazy, she naps during her coffee breaks.

Yo mama is so smelly, her deodorant doubles as bug spray.

Yo mama is so fat, her school pictures were taken by a satellite.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for selfies in landscape mode.

Yo mama is so smelly, she stuck her nose outside and it was classified as a biological weapon.

Yo mama is so lazy, she's a 2-story turtle.

Yo mama is so lazy, she's been on the same couch for 5 seasons.

Yo mama is so ugly, her reflection walked away.

Yo mama is so bald, she uses her head as a solar panel.

Yo mama is so hairy, when you were born, the doctor told her, 'It's a rug!'

Yo mama is so lazy, when she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the Ws.

Yo mama is so bald, when she goes to sleep, her head slips off the pillow.

Yo mama is so skinny, when she wears a fur coat, people ask her where she got the toothpick.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked to use the bathroom, she handed me a bucket.

Yo mama is so lazy, she went to the beach to surf the internet.

Yo mama is so skinny, when she went to take her driver's test, they said, 'Sorry, we don't do go-karts.'