Yo mama is so dirty, even a germaphobe wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole.

Yo mama is so loud, she can hear a pin drop... from the other side of the house.

Yo mama is so cheap, she recycles tissues.

Yo mama is so slow, when she runs, she's still in the same spot.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she went to Type A Anonymous and left with a black eye.

Yo mama is so tall, when she goes camping, she sets up a satellite dish to use as a tent.

Yo mama is so cross-eyed, she can see out of both her ears.

Yo mama is so big, she uses a mattress as a tampon.

Yo mama is so outdated, she still thinks Myspace is cool.

Yo mama is so noisy, she makes a train take a dirt road.

Yo mama is so old, when she went to the museum, they wanted to keep her as an exhibit.

Yo mama is so ugly, she puts the 'ug' in hugly.

Yo mama is so crazy, she put a ruler on her head to measure how tall she is.

Yo mama is so slow, when she runs the mile, it's in kilometers.

Yo mama is so dirty, she brings a spoon to the bubble bath.

Yo mama is so crazy, she puts her phone on 'airplane mode' to make it fly.

Yo mama is so crazy, she put a peephole in a glass door.

Yo mama is so dumb, she tried to alphabetize her calendar.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for cereal box toys.

Yo mama is so sweet, when she goes to the bakery, they name a pastry after her.

Yo mama is so charming, when she smiles, flowers bloom.