Yo mama so old, her birthday cake only had one candle with a dimmer switch.

Yo mama so slow, she played the 'stop-and-go' game and lost.

Yo mama so mean, she has to iron her pants in the driveway.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought Mexico was wall-to-wall carpet.

Yo mama so lazy, when she needs a fire, she lights a match under her chair.

Yo mama so hairy, people use her as a Swiffer.

Yo mama so short, she dives into a Cheerio and drowns.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she fell off the bottom step.

Yo mama is so poor, she hangs up paper towels to dry and calls it her 'linen closet'.

Yo mama is so short, she uses a straw to drink from a shot glass.

Yo mama is so greasy, she sweat grease while eating.

Yo mama is so fat, she wears a V-neck and a necklace gets stuck on 'Himalayas'.

Yo mama is so dumb, she went to a restaurant and said 'I'll have a water - no ice'.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't make snow angels, she makes snowmen.

Yo mama is so hairy, she needs a ponytail to control her leg hair.

Yo mama is so greasy, she uses bacon as a sled.

Yo mama so greasy, when she sits on a bench, she slips right off.

Yo mama so hairy, she got a trim and turned out to be a Sasquatch.

Yo mama so poor, she hangs empty soda cans on the Christmas tree.

Yo mama so loud, she wakes up the dead.

Yo mama so short, she parachutes off a curb.