Yo mama is so slow, she sent a text message with a carrier pigeon.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't exercise but she still gets a workout avoiding chores.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she got a fan letter from the Emergency Room.

Yo mama is so uncoordinated, she wore a helmet to bed in case she fell out.

Yo mama is so dumb, she went to the Apple store to get a refund on her BlackBerry.

Yo mama is so hairy, she needs a haircut for her leg warmers.

Yo mama is so poor, she hangs up her clothes to dry in video games.

Yo mama is so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

Yo mama is so fat, when she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for selfies with garden gnomes.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she got a job at the M&M factory, she threw away the W's.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the zoo, they locked her in the gorilla exhibit.

Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate expired.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for pictures with garden gnomes.

Yo mama is so ugly, even scarecrows look away.

Yo mama is so bad at cooking, when she makes toast the bread screams.

Yo mama is so loud, even her shadow needs earplugs.

Yo mama is so mean, she put air freshener on the mirrors so they wouldn't have to smell her.

Yo mama is so ridiculous, she put her phone on airplane mode and thought it would fly.

Yo mama is so dumb, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama is so forgetful, she went to the dentist for a Bluetooth.