Yo mama is so ugly, she made One Direction go another way.

Yo mama is so sassy, she puts hot sauce on lollipops.

Yo mama is so strict, when she plays Candy Crush, she leaves no survivors.

Yo mama is so smelly, she made Right Guard turn left.

Yo mama is so bald, when she braids her hair, it looks like stitches.

Yo mama is so fat, NASA has to orbit a satellite around her.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't move a muscle until the microwave beeps.

Yo mama is so slow, when she tried to pass the speed limit, she got a ticket for loitering.

Yo mama is so mean, she makes onions cry.

Yo mama is so stinky, she has to use an onion for deodorant.

Yo mama is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Yo mama is so hairy, she has afros on her nipples.

Yo mama is so mean, her favorite pastime is blowing out other people's birthday candles.

Yo mama is so stinky, she has to sneak up on bathwater.

Yo mama is so lazy, if she was a vegetable, she'd be a couch potato.

Yo mama is so cheap, when she took you to the zoo, she showed you a picture of a zebra.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the barber, they had to use a lawnmower.

Yo mama so old, when I asked for her ID, they gave me a rock.

Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

Yo mama so lazy, she watches the news on instant replay.

Yo mama so dumb, she brought a ruler to measure how long her wireless network was.