Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she turned it into an iPad.

Yo mama is so tall, she did a backflip and hit Jesus in the face.

Yo mama is so old, when she went to a museum, they kept trying to display her.

Yo mama is so dumb, she took a ladder to a bar to get high.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the salon, they charged her extra for a waxing truck.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, PE was called 'Chasing the Dinosaurs'.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't cook her food, she takes it out to warm up in the sun.

Yo mama is so hairy, she has to part her leg hair with a comb.

Yo mama is so short, she went out in heels and came back in flats.

Yo mama is so tall, she tripped on a rock and hit the moon.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went for a haircut, they had to call in a landscaper.

Yo mama is so stupid, she put paper on the TV and called it 'paper view'.

Yo mama is so dumb, she bought a spoon to drink from a straw.

Yo mama is so old, when she orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money upfront.

Yo mama is so tall, she tripped in Michigan and landed in Florida.

Yo mama is so old, when I asked her for an autograph, she signed it in hieroglyphics.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked for a glass of water, she took a spoon and said, 'It's all we have'.

Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a dimmer switch is a workout routine.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said 'Sorry, no professionals'.

Yo mama is so short, she does the limbo under the bed.

Yo mama is so fat, when she dances, the band skips.