Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the beach, she's the only one allowed to water ski without a boat.

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a legal position in football.

Yo mama is so fat, she uses the highway as a treadmill.

Yo mama is so old, she has an autographed Bible.

Yo mama is so lazy, she asked the devil to take her soul on credit.

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

Yo mama is so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, the history teacher taught about the dinosaurs.

Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a two-income family is where yo mama works two jobs.

Yo mama is so hairy, she gets mistaken for a Chia Pet.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, she apologizes.

Yo mama is so lazy, she naps standing up to save time lying down.

Yo mama is so dumb, she bought a video camera to record screenplays.

Yo mama is so fat, when she walks around the house, she walks 'around' the house.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went to a haunted house, she came out with a job application.

Yo mama is so fat, she takes selfies in panorama mode.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she got a haircut, the hairdresser got carpal tunnel.

Yo mama is so ugly, the neighbors mistook her for a Halloween decoration.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't just sit around the house, she sits around the yard.

Yo mama is so dumb, she tried to alphabetize a bag of mixed vegetables.