Yo mama is so clumsy, when she heard it was raining cats and dogs, she stepped in a poodle.

Yo mama is so cheap, when I asked her for a dollar, she took out a loan application.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried out for the movie 'Twilight', they cast her as the lead vampire.

Yo mama is so dirty, the roaches wrote her a letter of eviction.

Yo mama is so greedy, when she walks into a buffet, the owner goes broke.

Yo mama is so lazy, she developed a bed sore at work.

Yo mama is so skinny, when she went bungee jumping, she went straight to hell.

Yo mama is so dirty, the roaches wrote her an eviction notice.

Yo mama is so bad at cooking, the fire alarm cheers for her to stop.

Yo mama is so dumb, it takes her 2 hours to watch '60 Minutes'.

Yo mama is so old, when she went to the museum, historians tried to display her.

Yo mama is so bad at cooking, the flies in her house contribute to rent.

Yo mama is so short, she hang-glides on a Dorito chip.

Yo mama is so hairy, she redefines the term 'hairy situation'.

Yo mama is so fat, the animal control is looking for her to put her on a diet.

Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the pants off a scarecrow.

Yo mama is so skinny, when she uses a fork, it looks like she's fencing.

Yo mama is so bad at cooking, the flies in her kitchen left a bad Yelp review.

Yo mama is so lazy, she considers taking a nap a success story.

Yo mama is so short, she does limbo under the fridge.

Yo mama is so hairy, she shampoos with a weed whacker.