Yo mama's so short, she uses a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo mama's so hairy, when she shaves, hair regrows the next day.

Yo mama's so clumsy, she trips over her own shoelaces while sitting down.

Yo mama's so dumb, she stares at the pineapple juice can for hours because it says 'concentrated'.

Yo mama's so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared.

Yo mama's so poor, she waves around a water bottle and calls it an aquarium.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a hula hoop as a belly button ring.

Yo mama's so hairy, she grooms like a zoo animal.

Yo mama's so slow, she couldn't even beat a slow cooker in a race.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress as a tampon.

Yo mama's so clumsy, she trips over her own shadow.

Yo mama's so dumb, she buys solar-powered flashlights.

Yo mama's so old, her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Yo mama's so slow, she chased the ice cream truck for 3 blocks and still couldn't catch it.

Yo mama's so skinny, she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.

Yo mama's so short, she parachutes off of Doritos.

Yo mama's so fat, she went to a restaurant and ordered everything on the menu, then asked for seconds.

Yo mama's so hairy, she got a trim and the barber ran out of scissors.

Yo mama's so clumsy, she trips over her own thoughts.

Yo mama's so old, she farts out mothballs.

Yo mama's so slow, it took her 20 minutes to watch 60 Seconds.