Yo mama is so clumsy, she went to a shooting range and missed the target.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't give directions, she gives suggestions.

Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate is on papyrus.

Yo mama is so loud, when she yawns, the neighbors think a tornado is coming.

Yo mama is so ugly, even her reflection looked away.

Yo mama's so short, you can see her shoes in her driver's license photo.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears two watches, one for each time zone she covers.

Yo mama's so clumsy, she trips over wireless internet.

Yo mama's so poor, when she doesn't have a dollar to pay attention.

Yo mama's so short, when she went to hell, she had to be lowered in.

Yo mama's so short, she does belly flops in puddles.

Yo mama's so hairy, when she wears a bikini, people think she's a Chia Pet.

Yo mama's so slow, when she walks into a room, commercials start playing.

Yo mama's so poor, when she heard it was chilly outside, she ran out with a spoon.

Yo mama's so old, she needs a historical landmark sign.

Yo mama's so slow, to her, snail mail is high-speed internet.

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a Happy Meal cry.

Yo mama's so poor, she uses cheerios as earrings.

Yo mama's so old, when she attended preschool, history was called 'current events'.

Yo mama's so slow, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

Yo mama's so poor, she waves around a food stamp and calls it magic.