Yo mama's so skinny, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell 'Taxi!'

Yo mama's so slow, it takes her an hour to cook Minute Rice.

Yo mama's so hairy, even Bigfoot took a picture of her.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.

Yo mama's so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.

Yo mama's so hairy, she has dreadlocks on her armpits.

Yo mama's so slow, when she tried to enter a race, they said 'Sorry, no sloths allowed'.

Yo mama's so hairy, when she went to the barber, they charged her for a full-body haircut.

Yo mama's so ugly, she entered a haunted house and came out with a job application.

Yo mama's so hairy, when she went to the zoo, the lions bowed down to her.

Yo mama's so old, when she was in school, her teacher was detention.

Yo mama's so slow, she buys instant coffee from the past.

Yo mama's so poor, she waves at buildings because she thinks they're waving back.

Yo mama's so lazy, when she gave birth to you, she asked the doctor for a remote control.

Yo mama's so short, she poses for selfies with her feet.

Yo mama's so hairy, when she goes to the zoo, people mistake her for a yeti.

Yo mama's so lazy, she doesn't chase waterfalls, she sticks to the rivers and lakes she's used to.

Yo mama's so clumsy, she tripped over a wireless internet connection.

Yo mama's so bad at cooking, the flies chipped in to fix the screen door.

Yo mama's so tall, she did a backflip and kicked Jesus in the chin.

Yo mama's so greasy, she sweats bacon grease.