Yo mama is so greasy, her belly button collects bacon grease.

Yo mama is so lazy, she studies for a blood test.

Yo mama is so fat, she lays on the beach and people run around yelling 'Free Willy!'

Yo mama is so old, she called the cops when she saw Jurassic Park because she thought it was a home movie.

Yo mama is so hairy, she has dreadlocks on her earlobes.

Yo mama is so lazy, she goes to drive-thrus on foot.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she thinks a quarterback is a refund.

Yo mama is so fat, she uses the highway as a belt.

Yo mama is so hairy, she uses barbed wire as dental floss.

Yo mama is so noisy, when she walks, the neighbors turn down their music.

Yo mama is so dirty, when she walked into a bank, they turned off the security cameras.

Yo mama is so frugal, she steals packets of ketchup from McDonald's to use as toothpaste.

Yo mama is so blind, when she went to Paris, she thought the Eiffel Tower was a giant cell phone tower.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for selfies on a matchbox.

Yo mama is so lazy, she made an appointment for a nap.

Yo mama is so short, she uses a squirrel as a service animal.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the dentist, they make her wear a mask.

Yo mama is so slow, when she orders fast food, they expect her to pick it up tomorrow.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her where she keeps her money, she pointed to her piggy bank with no slot.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she heard it was a long weekend, she took a 5-minute nap.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, her yearbook was made of stone tablets.