Yo mama is so clumsy, when she goes to a restaurant, she orders a trip and falls.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she takes selfies, even Instagram crashes.

Yo mama is so mean, she watered her garden with sweat from her brow.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't eat with a fork, she eats with a pitchfork.

Yo mama is so hairy, if she were a vegetable, she'd be a chia pet.

Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a concert, the band has to play on her belly button.

Yo mama is so short, she has to slam dunk her cereal into the bowl.

Yo mama is so broke, she goes to KFC to lick other people's fingers.

Yo mama is so ugly, people switch to night vision when she shows up.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't shave her legs, she just draws little windows on them.

Yo mama is so old, when she listens to the radio, she uses her hearing aid as the antenna.

Yo mama is so dumb, she tried to order a pizza from the Today Show.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for thumbtacks.

Yo mama is so stupid, she alphabetizes her M&M's.

Yo mama is so short, she models for trophy stores.

Yo mama is so hairy, she looks like she has dreadlocks when she combs her hair.

Yo mama is so dumb, she buys things from the dollar store and sells them at the 99 cents store.

Yo mama is so mean, when she walks by the TV, the channel changes to static.

Yo mama is so forgetful, she went to the zoo and saw a sign saying 'Don't feed the animals' so she turned around and went home.

Yo mama is so slow, when she walks, she's going backwards in time.

Yo mama is so boring, Google Calendar sends her notifications about her being uneventful.