Yo mama is so slow, when she walks into a race, they've already finished and packed up.

Yo mama's so old, she knew Central Park when it was just a sapling.

Yo mama is so uncoordinated, she tried to do the moonwalk and landed on Mars.

Yo mama is so rude, she talks to Siri on speakerphone.

Yo mama is so tech-illiterate, she tried to take a selfie with a mirror.

Yo mama is so small, she has to stand on a stool to reach the bottom of the swimming pool.

Yo mama is so cheap, she brings coupons to the dollar store.

Yo mama is so poor, when she rings the doorbell, the toilet flushes.

Yo mama is so dirty, even swine flu wouldn't go near her.

Yo mama is so poor, she uses cheerios as a form of currency.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't jog, she just goes for a saunter.

Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a 'X' jacket, helicopters try to land on her.

Yo mama is so lazy, her favorite exercise is sleeping.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the zoo, they think she's a lost bear.

Yo mama is so short, when she jumps, she survives a 10-story fall.

Yo mama is so old, when she was a child, rainbows were black and white.

Yo mama is so ugly, she puts the 'ug' in ugly.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for footprints.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she goes to bed, she leaves her dreams on the nightstand.

Yo mama is so ugly, her portrait hangs itself.

Yo mama is so stupid, she locked herself in a grocery store and starved to death.